A Little Walk

Subject: A Little Walk Tue Sep 04, 2012 1:58 am

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People care about me. If they didn't I wouldn't be here, I'd be waiting to get on a train. I was honestly shocked when Henry volunteered. I'll be torn if he dies...... It'll be my fault. I sigh and keep walking on the gravel road, slowly. Just thinking. Why'd you let him take your spot? Huh Chase? You idiot. "Stop!" I yell to myself but immediately cover my mouth after. "You have serious problems Chase." I whisper to myself as continue walking like nothing ever happened. I pass my house, and Rhea the dog sees me. She runs out and starts barking. I give her a treat. "Alright Rhea, you can tag along."

Subject: Re: A Little Walk Tue Sep 04, 2012 2:10 am

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---District 5 Mentor---Female---17---

Rhea didn't attend the Reapings. She couldn't bring herself to go, although it is technically required for all citizens. She figured she could use the excuse that she just wasn't mentally ready to attend them, and that was partially true. Her own fears and insecurities kept her from going. She didn't even see who she was supposed to be mentoring or anything, not really ready to accept her new duty as mentor. So instead Rhea sat in front of her old, little house; just thinking while the whole district was gone. The quiet was serene yet almost bizarre, she wasn't used to the quiet that surrounded her right now. But the silence was broken when she heard the dog bark, that familiar bark could only belong to Chase's dog that he had named after her. She looked up to see the dog coming to greet her, and she pet her behind the ears. Rhea looked up to see Chase and she gave him a small smile and wave as a greeting. "I guess the Reapings are over now? Or did you decide to ditch them like I did?"

Subject: Re: A Little Walk Tue Sep 04, 2012 2:24 am

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"Hey." I sit down next to Rhea. "I wish I could ditch, but then again I'd probably get whipped." I sigh. "Although I'm used to being whipped, even though I haven't felt it in a while." I quickly move on, not wanting to get into my childhood. "I got reaped. But my friend Henry volunteered. So it's my fault that my best friend most likely will be dead in the next month or so. I shake my head. "Maybe if he thought I was more mentally stable, he wouldn't have volunteered. So what, I have fights with myself sometimes, we all have our flaws don't we?" I say, looking Rhea in the eyes. Not only that, but you talk too much.i clench my teeth to keep from starting another battle with myself.

Subject: Re: A Little Walk Tue Sep 04, 2012 2:43 am

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Rhea looked up at him and smiled, "yea I guess we all do. I'm technically a depressed, love sick girl." Rhea giggled knowing that was exactly what everyone thought in the Capitol, and they were half right. She couldn't help but miss Kaspar, but she wasn't really depressed. But the excuse made it easier for her to get away from things like going to the Reapings and all. "The one good thing about being a victor is that there is a little more leeway when it comes to certain things. I told the peacekeepers who saw me here earlier that I was too mentally distressed to go to the Reapings and they left me alone." Rhea looked down at Rhea 2 and continued to pet her and scratch her behind the ears while she said her last piece. She then looked back to Chase and looked him in the eyes, trying to make him feel better. "And as for your friend, I'm sure he had his reason for volunteering. I know it may seem hard, but he made his decision and the best thing you can do it support him and that choice. I know for me when I volunteered I had no questions that what I did was the right thing. Stupid? Yes, but I would have regretted it far more if I let Evie go in instead of me." She gave him a warm smile, her eyes full of promise. "I swear, I will watch out for him."

Subject: Re: A Little Walk Tue Sep 04, 2012 6:06 pm

"Well what's really important, are you a depressed, lovesick girl? All that matters is what's in here." I put my hand where her heart is. I laugh. "I wouldn't wanna be bothered either if I was in your situation, of course I'm not though." I sigh. "Thanks, I really want Henry to be taken care of. He's really capable, but I just want him to be okay. Give him the best advice possible, it really means a lot to me." I expect my inner self to say something, but I hear nothing in my mind. That's odd... Hopefully he gone. Please, let my insecure inner self be gone.

Subject: Re: A Little Walk Tue Sep 04, 2012 10:35 pm

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Rhea nodded reassuringly to Chase, "I promise you I will give him the best advice I can. Now whether he will take it is another story." She reached over and put her hand on his shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. She brought her hand back down and into her lap. "But as for the lovesick, depressed girl. I guess I am...I mean, I loved Kaspar. Sometimes I stay up all night, wishing that I was the one who died. Or that somehow I could just see him one more time. There was a....moment, I guess where I thought I saw him in the arena. But it wasn't really him, he was dead. He told me about the cliffs, showed me the cracks along the cliff side and warned me about them. He lead me from the caves I was in before they caved in. I guess I'm just crazy." Rhea couldn't help but tear up a bit. Talking about Kaspar always seemed to do that to her, but she knew that she needed to talk about it or else it would eat away at her insides. She turned away a bit, trying to hide any sadness she felt from Chase, he didn't need to see her break down; his friend had just volunteered for gods sake and somehow she seemed to push aside his problems and put to light her own. God Rhea, just read him your diary why don't you?

Subject: Re: A Little Walk Wed Sep 05, 2012 12:32 am

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"If Henry wants to win he'll listen to you. Whether or not he wants to win though... Well I'll never know. I put my head down and state t the ground. "And Kasper, I saw him in the games. He was a great man. But Kasper died for a reason. He died and you didn't for a reason. And I'm sure, totally sure, that he looks down on you and smiles, proud of how well you've done. Because you've done great Rhea. I know you miss him, but there's always somebody new out there for you, an I'm sure Kasper would want you to find somebody else." But when Rhea starts crying, it breaks my heart. "Rhea it's ok. Sometimes we all need a shoulder to cry on, even I do." I Wipe her tears with my hand. "I'm here for you." I say softly. "Think about things that make you smile. Every morning when I wake up I think of what will make me smile that day."

Subject: Re: A Little Walk Wed Sep 05, 2012 1:16 am

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Rhea just cried for a few moments, it felt so good to let it all out. She tried to keep a strong face on all the time, tried not to look vulnerable in front of people. But it had gotten more and more difficult with each passing day. She pressed her hand against her cheek where Chase had just wiped her tears away and tried smiling through the sadness. "Thanks Chase, it has been good having someone to talk to. Like to really talk to, nowadays whenever I talk to people they just want to know how I won and what the Capitol is like. I can't ever talk about things that are bugging me. And sorry I kinda dropped all that on you, I guess I just hadn't been able to talk about Kaspar with anyone since..." She didn't even want to say those words, it was still to hard to admit at times that he really was gone and he was never going to come back. She looked up at Chase, he kind of reminded her of him. She moved closer to him, doing the one thing that she could think of at that moment and hugged him. She put her arms around his neck and hugged him for a few moments before letting go and scooting back again. "Thank you." she whispered as she smiled at him.