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 These words are knives and often leave scars, the fear of falling apart~

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Chiiyoko
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PostSubject: Re: These words are knives and often leave scars, the fear of falling apart~   Sun Jul 20, 2014 6:07 am



Derald rubbed his face with both hands as he sighed loudly. This was not how it was suppose to end up. This was suppose to be a simple chat about Dusk and he didn't what happened. How did this get so out of hand with both of them yelling at each other? He hated this so much, it was horrible, to hear someone you love yelling at you, and you at them. He don't know what got into him but somehow he just... exploded. It felt relieving for half a second when he shouted all the frustration out, but it just continued, on and on and on. Luckily there wasn't anyone around here in the Victor Village right now other than Darrin and Tess. Everything that wasn't helping Dusk was annoying. And he was letting that side get the better of him. He couldn't even stop it, his mouth just decided to spat out all those awful things at Annie without any permission. "No, I don't know. Ya don't get it, do ya? Ya can't just make everything go away just by TALKING about it," he towered over her as he said it through his tensed jaws. He took a step back as he turned around to rub his headache away, "You're already screaming me!" Dusk never gotten this sick before and it was unnerving. And they needed to do something about it. No one's exactly qualified to be a vet around here and everyone just takes care of their own animals and now Derald thinks that it's freaking stupid. Darrin was still trying to find out what's wrong with her and Tess has been out getting any remedies they ran out of. Whatever it was, it was serious. And Derald don't have time to deal with this at all, but he unknowingly did. His logic has just been blinded by the need to make sure Dusk gets out of this and Annie trying to help isn't helping at all. He just.. needed to sort things out with Dusk, with her, with everything.

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Chiiyoko
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PostSubject: Re: These words are knives and often leave scars, the fear of falling apart~   Sun Jul 20, 2014 9:50 pm



He didn't even hear her mutter something out with so much things running through his mind. How is Dusk doing? Is she vomiting again? Maybe it's just a fever. Why was Annie so mad? Why was he so mad? He don't know. He don't know anything at this point in time anymore. But the last thing on his mind was did he hurt her feelings? To justify it, it was on his mind, at the back of it, nagging him under all his other worries. "I ain't screaming at you!" He threw his hands up. They were outside his house with the front doors closed and it all started in the morning, when he noticed Dusk just curling up in his bed beside him, whining. "I ain't asking ya to be perfect! Where did ya even get that idea from?!" He ran a hand through his hair not looking at her in the eye as he continued, "Sure I'm as useless as you are, happy? But at least I'm tryin' to do something about it and figurin' out what the hell's wrong with Dusk." He remembered how he used to not be able to only take glances to stare into her eyes, this was not the same reason. His head continued to pound while her words spill over into his mind, "Why are you being like this?" he mumbled under his breath to himself, shaking his head before walking back up to her. His voice became strained, "Ya don't know what it feels like to have your friend die right in front of you, in your arms. I'm not gonna let that happen again." He can't believe that he was bringing this into their fight. It came out before it processed, like his mind wanted to pull back the memories of the past out of spite.

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Chiiyoko
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PostSubject: Re: These words are knives and often leave scars, the fear of falling apart~   Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:01 am



Derald crossed him arms as he let her shout at him, tapping his foot rapidly. Obviously, nothing was really sinking in for the both of them, or maybe everything was sinking in too much, too much make them both overthink it. "What if I don't need your help?!" He took a step forward as he felt his mouth itching to let even more disgusting words out. At that moment, he really wanted to just bury this away for just a second, to get back to Dusk. He don't want to deal with this right now, or later, or ever. Can things just shut up and go back to normal? What is normal anyways, 'normal' disintegrated when he stepped up onto that stage with his name being labeled as Tribute for the 35th Hunger Games. "See? You always jump into conclusions by yourself! When did I say that I've suffered more then you? When did I ever say that ya didn't care?!" His voice continued to get louder with each word, "Unfair? How's that even unfair?" He let out a single laugh of disbelief. Derald could feel the agitation showing in his cheeks, his hands, his voice. But seeing her eyes getting glassy almost made him realise what the hell he was even saying to her. Almost. The frustration was way more blinding than his conscience. "I never blamed you for anything! God... Just-" He cut her off halfway the moment she mentioned about blame. And he was cut right back as she continued while shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut, squeezing the head and heart pain away. He looked up from the ground to stare dead straight at her, feeling a stab right in his chest when she had to say it. She had to bring that up. It was a second of vulnerability, a second of hesitation before it returned to the hard mask of anger. He just lowered his voice, "I've already lost so many. And I'm prolly losing another one back in that house right now, why stop there, right?" He could never ever think of losing Annie, he don't want to, but right now the dominant side of his mind is just thinking of ways to get her away from him so that he could still try to do something.

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PostSubject: Re: These words are knives and often leave scars, the fear of falling apart~   Tue Jul 22, 2014 12:15 am



Derald's eye soften as he felt the anger in both of them simmer away. "Annie I-" He stopped there, what did he even want to tell her? He tried to say something in the middle of her rant but don't even know what he wanted to say. So Annie just continued on as he stood there silently. Even he don't know what he needs, how could he possibly ask her to go helping him like a headless chicken? He held back a chuckle when he thought of her digging through the trash for some hocus pocus cure but he quickly covered it up, looking away from her. Hearing all these sacrifices she was willing to make. That's the thing. She's always so selfless, always wanting to help others, always putting herself last. He wanted her to think for herself too. He thinks.. maybe that was what got him all riled up. That she was always taking care of others, taking care of him, and what about her own self?  He should say something. Anything. But it wasn't coming out. He felt miserable listening to her like this, worse when he just stands there silently. When he heard her quote words right out of his mouth glanced to her. ...Was that what he said? He can't recall clearly in this moment. Just.. leave me alone. the back of his mind begged, not wanting this to crumble any further, I'll fix Dusk up, I don't want to kill another friend. He wanted to reach out to her, hug her, ask her to stay, tell her he was sorry, but he also wanted her gone, wanted her to not see this broken side of him, wanted her to not worry over him for one minute, and think about herself. The later seemed to be stronger, restraining his hand from reach up to grab hers from leaving. Goodbye, Derald. It sounded so familiar, so horrid. Like it would be her last that she would ever call out to him. And then she was gone. Why the hell is there a good in goodbye anyways? Goodbyes never end well, no one's ever good. He watched her go and disappear before he dropped his pounding head to rest it on the wall, one arm up on it to weakly bang on it once. He fucked up. But the nagging in his mind told him he had more things to worry over right now, no matter how bad things were between Annie and him. He pulled the door open and strode back inside to where his family was. "How is she?" Derald mumbled, bending down to give his companion a comforting stroke on her back. Darrin was cleaning up the mess she made. "How is she? What in tarnation happened?" Tess hissed at her cousin while she was preparing the medicine. "I'll fix it, okay? It's... fine." He sighed, starting to feel around Dusk tummy for the pain. They knew what was wrong with her, but where the wrong is is a whole different issue. They can fix this. They dealt with all kinds of sick animals before, what's so different from a dog? And somewhere in his head, it just repeated reminded him, Annie, Annie, Annie. But he continued to diagnose Dusk, writing down the list of possible medicine that would probably work. He needed to focus here. Focus. ..It was going to be a long night.

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