The Hunger Games
Hey, you haven't had a chance to get in the games yet! Register here and jump in!
The Hunger Games

Welcome to Panem! We are a role playing forum that is starting from the first games.
 
HomeHome  PortalPortal  CalendarCalendar  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  

Share | 
 

 iGuzzle's Characters ♥

Go down 
AuthorMessage
iGuzzle

avatar

Female Posts : 2
Join date : 2015-04-03
Birthday : 2002-06-02
Age : 16

Character sheet
Hitpoints:
150/150  (150/150)
Character Name::
Alliance:: None

PostSubject: iGuzzle's Characters ♥   Fri Apr 03, 2015 5:58 pm

Valerie Avelin

Age/Birthday: 14, June 3
Gender: Female
District: District 9
Rich or Poor: Middle Class
Weapon Of Choice: Throwing Knives
Physical Appearance: She has long, straight black hair with brown tips, which is usually seen tied back or in a braid. She has brown eyes and fairly peachy skin. She is about 5'6 but usually grows about an inch or two every year. She looks bit skinny and innocent looking when she tries her best not to look like a mess.
Personality: She can be very sweet, but also can be your worst nightmare. Usually bubbly when she's in a good mood and fairly scary when angered, depressed, or annoyed. She can be hilarious and eccentric (in a good way). Valerie loves her family more than anything, even though they may have some ups and downs in the past. She's also pretty lazy when she can be.
Flaw: Careless, Caring too much.
Talents: Beautiful singing. Good at drawing.
Family: Sister, Mother, Father
Pets: N/A
Brief History: Valerie lives in District 9, where she has a sister, mother, and father. She grew up as an intelligent child. Valerie has had many injuries due to being lazy or careless. She hated the idea of being in the Hunger Games, but she would've tried her best if she had to compete.
Preferred Angles: Intelligent, Eccentric (in a good way)
Angles this tribute will not do: Dumb,
Token: A pastel green ribbon which is usually weaved or tied in her hair.
Other: N/A


Last edited by iGuzzle on Sat Apr 04, 2015 8:57 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Guest
Guest



PostSubject: Re: iGuzzle's Characters ♥   Sat Apr 04, 2015 12:46 am

Hello and welcome to the site! I'm Rainy and if you need any help or have any question, be sure to let me or any other staff member know. Let's take a look at your first character...

So, there are a few little things with Valerie that need to be fixed before she gets accepted. Don't worry, nothing major. Here's a short list:

1. Valerie needs one more sentence for her personality. There's also an incomplete sentence in her appearance, but I'll let it slide.
2. Her flaw doesn't really make sense. It contradicts itself without explaining how both parts make sense in a dynamic way, so perhaps expand on that? How does being careless or caring too much impede her?
3. "Professional liar" implies that Valerie lies as a profession or has specific training as a liar. Considering her history doesn't mention her lying other than being able to convince people she's innocent, this doesn't fit. You could just say she's good at lying or something?
4. In her history you mention a "nice ability to run swiftly" but it is not listed under talents. Please either remove it or add it too her talents and add/worsen a flaw to balance it out.

That's all I can see wrong with it! Please post a notice here when you've edited her so we can come along to accept her. Thanks and welcome again to the site! Smile
Back to top Go down
iGuzzle

avatar

Female Posts : 2
Join date : 2015-04-03
Birthday : 2002-06-02
Age : 16

Character sheet
Hitpoints:
150/150  (150/150)
Character Name::
Alliance:: None

PostSubject: Re: iGuzzle's Characters ♥   Sat Apr 04, 2015 9:04 am

Thank you for telling me Razz I have everything fixed now. I was playing a game while doing my character so I was expecting a couple of errors, and I suppose I was right. tongue
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Guest
Guest



PostSubject: Re: iGuzzle's Characters ♥   Sat Apr 04, 2015 11:56 am

Valerie is accepted!
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: iGuzzle's Characters ♥   

Back to top Go down
 
iGuzzle's Characters ♥
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» RainbowCat's Characters
» Pushed over the edge(x4 characters)
» Remplissage's Characters
» Getting rid of the not-so-active characters
» Skye's Characters

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
The Hunger Games :: Archives :: Out of Character :: Characters-
Jump to: