xxcloexx new charechter

Posts : 1 Join date : 2012-07-19

okay so im neSubject: Character Template {Please Read!} Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:16 am
hey em i dont realy know what to do im just following instructions from my friend so here it goes

Name:scarlet lily rose
Age/Birthday:24 march 1998
Gender:female
District:2
Family:mother sandra 34 living father mikey 36 sister shauna 12
Brief History: i live in america in florida to be exxact i love swimming my sister loves sucking her pacifier its soo anoyin Physical Appearance: small and a bit fat long brown hair brown eyes and freckles
Personality: fun likes a good laugh and a bit a fun
Flaw: over giddy
Pets: dog cat and rabbits

Rich or Poor?:middle class
Weapon of Choice:machine gun
Talents:back flip on trampoline can ride a bike i can swim
Preferred Angles innocent mystrios flirtry
Angles this tribute will not do:sexy and strong
Other: dunno realy

Subject: Re: xxcloexx new charechter Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:59 am

Okay Cloe xD

I'm gonna help. If you want to take my advice, fine, if not, that's fine too 8D

1) Capital letters. In the right place.
2) Full stops. It looks better than this because then you don't have to strain and think that this sentence is very long and yeah. Full stops in the right place go a long way
3) The age needs to go in. She's... 14. So you could put that in
4) Commas in between the different things like "Sandra, 34, Living" Then a full stop, and you can start the next one
5) She wouldn't live in America Florida. She would live in D2. Or D4, if you want her to be in that area. I know I didn't explain this exactly when we were talking, so forgive me xD
6) You should write the history in the third person perspective. It's easier to understand
6) There is a minimum of four sentences on Personality and Physical Appearance.
7) Over giddy is a flaw, but it isn't one that would really get her hurt. So why not put something like Loyalty or Trust?
8) Name the animals. It makes it seem more realistic.
9) Machine gun? No. Something like a sword or spear. I know I never explained this either, so blame me xD
10) Talents are like something they are good at. Sword-fighting, Running, Climbing. Stuff they would be able to do in the arena
11) Spelling! You spelt mysterious wrong. Spell-check works 8D
12) Take away the "dunno really"

Okay Cloe xD I never explained any of it properly. I know. But honestly, you'll have a hard time when you haven't read or watched the Hunger Games. (As I told you) But you can ask Mods if you need help. And I would gladly help. Just ask me on Skype 8D I'll send you some ideas, and help you improve you're character xD

Subject: Re: xxcloexx new charechter Thu Jul 19, 2012 2:26 pm

Vina, please leave that correcting to the mods and admins please. Itès not your job and the mods can do a fine enough job as it is.