It all falls apart...

Subject: It all falls apart... Thu Aug 16, 2012 3:02 am

---District 5---Male---17---

Roe could only sit in his house and watch helplessly on the television screen as his sister fought for her life everyday. And as each day passed it seemed to only get harder and harder. They had been in that arena for two and a half months already and they had only recently reached the final six. If only they had been in district 2, than maybe Roe would have been proud of his sister ending the life of Heppa Duskdale. He knew that the only way to get out of the arena alive was to kill, but somehow he had hoped that his sister would have been spared from doing that and from having to take another person's life away. Rhea had changed during the games. She wasn't quite the same as she was before the reapings, but he had a feeling this would happen. It was all the games that did this, that made her hurt and made her kill. And there was only one person that could be blamed for her having to experience all of that.

Roe moved his hands through his hair as he took in a deep breath. The anger had been boiling up in him for awhile now, but Rhea killing Heppa seemed to be the catalyst for the dam holding all those emotions back to crack and deteriorate. He snapped, he had lost the control he had on his emotions. Roe slammed his fists down on the table in front of him and in one motion grabbed the bottom and pulled it up. The small wooden table flew up in the air and with it all of the items that had been resting on it. The table came down with a shattering thud as it lay now legless and limp. Roe stood up and moved out of the small house where he lived. and onto the streets. He needed fresh air and somewhere quiet to clear his head. He couldn't watch the games anymore, they only upset him more. And it never helps when your sister makes it this far, because then everyone has something to say to you.

He moved quickly down the road, not really watching where he was going or who was passing by. He didn't care. Roe just needed to get away. He slipped into a small alleyway and stood in the dark, narrow passage. The alley was littered with a few boxes and loose items scattered around as if there was no regard for throwing ones trash into the proper receptacle. He felt the need to destroy something and kicked as hard as he could at the boxes and lifted up a few papers tearing them up. Anyone passing by might have thought he was crazy. Roe wasn't satisfied with doing just that though. He tightened his fist and slammed it into the wall nearest him. The shock ran up his forearm and into his shoulders. He slammed his fist at the wall a few more times, before weakly letting his arm drop to his side. He leaned against the hard surface and just stood there for a moment. He could sense someone there, someone staring at him curiously. He lifted his head and caught eyes with the person standing there. "Oh....its you. What do you want?" Roe practically spat the words out as if he had eaten something disgusting.

Guest

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15 Years Old - Female - District 5

When Evie saw Roe standing there, she nearly screamed. She had been out looking for Solstice, who was nowhere to be found, after watching what had happened in the Games. She couldn't help but feel personally responsible for not only Rhea's place there, but also the loss of every single person she killed. It wasn't easy, and Evie knew it must be even harder for Roe. Evie had run out of her house and slammed the door, not caring what her stepmother, father, or many step-siblings thought of it. Thank gawd Flower was already asleep... Evie thought to herself, relieved for the first time in weeks. She felt like crying, even though she knew it wouldn't solve anything. Some people got angry, others broke down. Evie was usually one who did the latter, but she could see Roe was the complete opposite by the anger and disgust in his eyes and voice as he stood in front of her. For a while, she didn't say a word, too shocked to speak.

"I-I'm really sorry about Rhea..." she muttered at last, looking down and trying to avoid his gaze. "I know it's my fault she's in there. I should have been the one..." Evie trailed off, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. She couldn't finish the sentence. "I just... I keep thinking about it. Everything she does... it could have been me. Should have been me." She bit her lip, opened her eyes, and looked up at Roe, the picture of sadness. "I'm so sorry, Roe. It's not right. I know it's not right. I can't even imagine how bad you must feel... I mean, I can't even stand in front of you, gawd, we used to be friends and it's taken me months to look you in the eye... what happened to us, Roe? We were friends. Why- why- why did this have to happen?" Evie wiped away a tear and tried to stop rambling on and on. Eventually, bot one to handle confrontation well, she gave up and just apologized profusely. "Gawd, I'm sorry, Roe. I'm so, so sorry. I know it won't help, and that I'm standing only here at all because of Rhea and everything's going wrong and I just can't do anything and I'm sorry. That's all I can say, I'm sorry! I'm sorry for that too, because I know it won't help, it won't change anything, because nothing I do can help!" Evie paused, trying to calm down, and took a deep breath. "Please, just say something. You have a right to be mad, or if you really just need a hug, or if you basically want to kill me right now, I get it. I'm sorry," she whispered, staring at the pavement and not daring to look up.

"I... I just... I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, so sorry you can't even believe, sorry that she's there and that I'm here, and for not wanting to go rush in and replace her, and for not wanting to die myself and not wanting her to die either, and that it's my fault, and that she's different, and that I can't say anything else but I'm sorry." Evie frowned and pushed her hair out of her face and finally looked straight at Roe. She wasn't giggling, but she wasn't crying anymore either. She just didn't know what to do.

Subject: Re: It all falls apart... Thu Aug 16, 2012 3:48 am

A speaker from one of the large screens in the district could be faintly heard, the announcer was talking about a feast beginning. Both Roe and Evie could hear it, just barely, but enough.

Subject: Re: It all falls apart... Thu Aug 16, 2012 11:05 pm

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Roe could only stand there as Evie rambled on and apologized over and over again. That was when the voice over the loud speaker could be heard in the distance. It announced a feast, with something that each tribute needed. But that meant one thing, each tribute would be attending. Roe could only hope that his sister would just get in and out and not do anything stupid. That hopefully she would stay out of any direct danger. His face was emotionless and stern as he turned back towards Evie. "Yea....you're sorry? Well I have news for you Evie, you can take your apology and keep it to yourself. My sister is the one in the games; she wasn't reaped, you were and you let her go in. You aren't the one that has to deal with her being gone everyday and being reminded all the time that she is in danger constantly. Nobody asks you questions about her or comes up to you and apologizes for your loss. And yea, we were friends once...and I considered you more than that at some point in time but that was obviously me being stupid. I don't even know where my sister got the idea that it would be so much better for her to go in instead of you. Because at least it would have been over for you weeks ago. Now if you will excuse me, I better go back and watch as my sister goes and gets herself killed at the feast the gamemakers nicely held for the tributes." Roe turned away from her, very determined to get back home and continue watching the craziness that was the games.

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Evie's lips parted slightly in shock and she stood there, shaking her head and stuttering, but not knowing what to say. "I-I-" she stammered, frozen in place. "Roe, wait, I-" Evie's mouth moved, but no further words came out. They just got stuck in her brain. She blinked multiple times in a row, rapid, furious, and unrelenting, unable to to anything else but that. After Roe finished speaking, she swallowed, wiping away the tears that were streaming down her face like an avalanche. Evie didn't even remember starting to cry. After a few seconds, she finally trusted herself to talk again. "You keep telling yourself that, Roe, I'm sure, because you've proved it to me today. But however much you and I both blame me for Rhea being a tribute... she was the one who volunteered, Roe, and screaming at me isn't going to give her any better chance of coming home. And no, I didn't do anything to stop her. That's true, I've apologized a million times for it, and I'm still sorry. If there was something I could do, I would have done it already. But I can't change anything, Roe, and neither can you. What else is there? Do you want me to kill myself? Do you think it would bring her back? No. It would just waste her life, her sacrifice, her memory," Evie whispered, audible, but not particularly loud. She took a breath again and shook her head, moving to stand about 7 feet in front of Roe, and escalating in volume. "Actually, I doubt it would even matter! Look at you! You're already wasting her life, Roe. She went into the Games so that you could be happy. She didn't want this to happen to you, but guess what? It has. You know I'm just as upset as you are, and I'm not telling you that you should have a huge smile on your face, but for gawd's sake, just appreciate that your sister cared about you enough to risk her life for your happiness," Evie shouted. It felt a little strange for her, being loud and angry. It was very foreign. I haven't danced in a long time... Evie realized, then propelled her thoughts back into the previous, more important topic. "And another thing? Don't even try to pretend that you want the rest of the world to forget about her. Every time someone stops you to offer their condolences, yeah, I'm sure it hurts. But at least they care, Roe. Wouldn't it be worse if they didn't?" Evie's face was sopping wet from crying now, her eyes bloodshot, her cheeks rubbed raw from all the times she wiped away a tear. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, then gradually opened them and walked away. Her head was spinning from the adrenaline rush of pure, unadulterated anger, but for once, she didn't like the energetic feeling that she was getting. It didn't feel like joy. It didn't feel comfortable and happy and safe. It felt harsh, bitter, empty. She hated it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, Evie thought. She screamed, spinning around and smashing her arms into whatever was around. "I HATE THIS!" Evie spat, feeling nauseous. She clutched at her stomach and leaned against a wall, trying to keep herself from throwing up. After a couple of minutes, she no longer felt sick, but she stayed by the wall anyway, crouching by the dirty ground, hunkering down in the shadows. Where I belong... she told herself, although she didn't believe it for a second. She would always be the one dancing in the sun. But Roe... he would forever nest in darkness.

Subject: Re: It all falls apart... Fri Aug 17, 2012 1:41 am

It all falls apart... Create.php?text=Solstice%20Vernon&name=HARRP___

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Solstice had been walking around a bit trying to calm her mind a bit. She was thinking too much again and that always led to disaster. She just started grumbling to herself, she knew Evie was going through a ton around this point and she didn't know how to help her, Solstice was hopeless with that stuff, completely hopeless. She stopped suddenly as she heard some voices and she listened carefully. She heard Roe speaking and then she stayed in the shadows listening to Evie speak and knew her best friend was upset and crying and she couldn't deal with it any longer. She screamed, and furry took over her and she came up to Roe.

She was angry and upset because of how her best friend was spoken to. "Roe, you need to listen here and you need to listen real well, what you just did there, yes you just basically harmed my best friend who has nothing but apologized to you and she is now crying thanks to your stupid words and anger ways." Solstice said taking a step closer to him. "You have a lot of nerve, picking on an innocent girl who can't help fate, she's like a sister to me and when she's upset I'm upset but with a temper." She snapped at him this time. "Also saying she would have died weeks ago, that's not true, she's stronger than you think and you're being a jerk Roe, you need to stop, you can shove all these insults in her face and she may take them but I wont let her, she deserves better than a prick like you anyways, she deserves a guy who will treat her right, wont make her cry, and she needs a guy who isn't emotionally unstable like you." She spat at him. "I know what it's like to lose a best friend, I know what it's like to lose a loved one, I know what it's like to lose someone near and dear to you Roe, you don't see me hurting other people and making them cry because of my sufferings, at least she still has a chance to come home Roe, she really does and you need to have faith in your sister and believe she can fight and win because without that you have nothing and you'll be a dark dark man for the rest of your life, you can't take it out on Evie, it's not her fault things ended up this way, they happen for a reason!" She snapped but this time you could see the sadness lingering in her eyes.

Subject: Re: It all falls apart... Fri Aug 17, 2012 10:22 pm

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Roe's anger just built up more and more. Who was Solstice to come in and lecture him, who was she to say how he was to deal with his emotions? Yes, maybe he shouldn't have been such a jerk and he really didn't need to say the things he did; but Roe's way of dealing with things is through anger. Through hitting things and even destroying. He turned around to the brick wall and as hard as he could hit it a few times. His knuckles hurt, and now warm as the liquid started to flow down his arm and cover his hand. He then turned to Solstice and got into her face, unable to hold back how he felt any longer. If she wanted to yell at him she was going to have to be prepared to hear him yell back. "You know what Solstice, don't act like you have any clue what I am going through because you don't. Do you know how much I blame myself for everything? Every time I go home and see my dad drink more and more because he himself has already mourned her loss. I have to pick him up every night and force him to bed as he rambles on about how he has lost the only two women he has ever loved and how I am the cause for all the suffering he has to go through now? I'm not wasting her life, I'm trying to look on the bright side of her sacrifice and at every turn I hear people constantly bringing her down. You can only hear that your sister is going to die so many times before you start to believe it yourself. How she is the weakest of all the tributes, people betting when and how she is going to die and who is going to kill her. So yea, I think I'm allowed to be angry. And I'm not just angry at Evie, I'm angry at my father for giving up on Rhea, I'm angry at Rhea for raising her hand in the first place, and more importantly I am angry at myself for letting all of this happen. So don't try and act all high and mighty to me because I feel bad enough already." Roe turned from her for a moment before turning back once more. "And I hope that she comes home, but I try not to hope too much. Because having the hope ripped out from under you is worse than having none at all."

He could feel his eyes begin to water, and for the first time since his mother's death Roe began to cry a little letting a small tear escape from his eye. Roe wiped away the moisture that started to move down his face and looked down at it in disgust. He hated this weakness in himself. He needed to be strong not only for himself but for his sister, he had owed her that much. And now it seemed he was losing all composure, something that really was not like him. He could normally control his emotions, but without Rhea around to keep him in check it seemed he was a loose cannon these days.

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Evie's vision was blurred with tears. She blinked, trying to clear it, and marched back over to Roe and Solstice. She glared at Roe for a moment, but soon turned to Solstice, facing her just long enough to get in a grateful smile. After that, she took a step towards Roe returned to a sympathetic grimace. She furrowed her eyebrows, licked her lips, and tried to think of a way to say what she wanted to. "It's not your fault, Roe," she said softly. "But don't take it out on Solstice, okay?" Evie sighed, and took another step forward. She gave him a half-smile, then looked down, taking a deep breath. After one, two, three extremely awkward moments of silence, Evie reached over with her arms and gave Roe a hug. "Sorry about friend-zoning you, by the way," she added, letting go, nodding to him and moving backwards towards Solstice, who she stood behind. "He might try and attack," Evie warned, whispering it to Solstice with suspicious, narrowed eyes. "I don't think he's used to actual human contact. He doesn't really smile anymore. I think he might be a vampire or something... or maybe he's just a big ol' grump. But I think he's got a teddy bear inside. He just doesn't realize it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to hide behind you now... if you don't mind." She took another step behind Solstice and held on to the other girl's shoulder, peeking out.

Subject: Re: It all falls apart... Sun Aug 26, 2012 12:39 am

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Roe could only stand there as Evie hugged him and apologized for 'friend zoning' him. He didn't know what else to do, he wasn't going to hug her back. That would have just been awkward. Roe just stood there with his hands at his side staring awkwardly into the space in front of him. That was when Evie moved away from him and moved behind Solstice, saying something along the lines that she thought he was a vampire or something, and that he hadn't smiled for awhile. Which he knew was true, he hadn't really had a reason to smile since Rhea left. He just shook his head a little at the comment. "I'm not going to hit either of you...what do you think I am some monster or something?" Roe just stood there, not really sure what he should do or say anymore. Most of his anger had passed and he didn't want to go home. Going home meant watching the games, and he didn't feel like watching it right now. Maybe just a walk alone to clear his mind would do him some good.

Guest

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Every whisper
Of every waking hour
I'm choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no, I've said too much

Evie giggled despite the dark air of the situation. "Sorry," she managed to burst out between bouts of laughter. "I don't know why I'm laughing. There's nothing funny. I think there's something wrong with my brain..." Evie clutched at her stomach, leaning on Solstice for support. She didn't know what was happening. This usually only happens when I have sugar... Evie thought, frantically telling herself to stop laughing. You don't need to make Roe feel any worse. She got an idea, and conjured a picture of her step-sister Missy in her brain, and sobered immediately. Evie took a deep breath, straightened up, and closed her vibrant blue eyes. "Again, I'm sorry, I have no idea what happened there. I don't think this is funny, I swear. I just- I guess I needed to laugh, you know? Well, you probably don't know," she rambled, opening her eyes with a sigh. "But would it kill you to feel an ounce of happiness, Roe? I don't mean to be rude or insensitive, but come on! I'm not telling you to smile, but don't be down- at least, not all the time. Suffering won't make Rhea come back any faster, I promise. Also, for the record, I never said you were a monster! I said you were a teddy bear and a vampire. But also you kinda-sorta maybe just punched a wall and screamed at us a little or something of that sort a teensy bit. Attacking seemed like the operative word..." she trailed off, not wanting to be rude, not knowing what else to say, not sure what to do. She tilted her head. "You are kind of like a teddy bear.... a lonely teddy bear in the rain without an umbrella." The thought of an umbrella-less teddy bear standing all alone in the rain with a sad face and the stuffing coming out devastated Evie. She gave Solstice another hug to gain her bearings and turned determinedly back to Roe. "Please don't be mad, Roe. It won't help. It'll only make you feel worse." She looked up at Roe, who was significantly taller and, of course, two years older anyway, with big, watery unintentional puppy-dog eyes, as innocent as could be.

"I thought that I heard youlaughing...
I thought that I heard you sing...
I think I thought I heard you try.
But that was just a dream, just a dream...

#Pip-Style

Subject: Re: It all falls apart... Tue Aug 28, 2012 5:40 pm

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Roe just stood there as she looked up at him, his face unchanging. "I just don't have anything to smile about Evie. Not until Rhea steps off that train and is here again in district 5 will I have something to truly be happy about." He couldn't help but show a little bit of a smile on his face as he looked at Evie, it was her optimism that drew him to her as a friend in the first place. He was happy that at least he had his friend again, she had distanced herself from him after the Reapings and it was only now that she started talking to him again. Roe for the first time let instinct take over as he put his arms around her shoulders and hugged her for a few seconds. Not a romantic hug, but a friendly hug. He backed up for a few seconds and looked at her. He shrugged a little before looking down into her eyes, "Thanks, Evie. Really, it means a lot to me."

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Evie smiled happily, hugging Roe back. After a few moments she pulled away, and hobbled back over to Solstice. "Told you. Teddy bear," she muttered. "Rhea will come back. It's almost over. She can win-, no, she will win. She'll come back home to see you." Evie patted Roe on the shoulder, trying to comfort him, because, despite being relatively average height herself, she couldn't reach far enough to pat his head. "You'll make it through. You will. I believe in you, okay?" she grinned again and twirled around, antsy and full of adrenaline. She was happy that Roe had accepted her as a friend again.

Subject: Re: It all falls apart... Wed Aug 29, 2012 9:58 pm

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Roe nodded a little to Evie and pat her on the shoulder. "I hope you're right Evie, I hope you're right." Roe hugged her one last time, a thank you for just talking to him again after all of this. He did this for a few moments before letting go and deciding that it would be best for him to go home now. "Well, I better head home. My dad will be back soon from work and I will have to help him get to bed soon enough." Roe nodded and gave a small smile before turning around to walk away. But not before turning back one more time to face Evie, "Thank you, I mean it." Roe walked back to the small house that he shared with his father and at one point his sister.