Boy_3's Characters

First one:

Name: Dallius Findi
Age/Birthday: 18, August 9th
Gender: Male
District: Three
Family: None, they all died from a fire caused by a spark.
Brief History: Dallius was nine when his family died. Since then he has been avidly devoted to training. He knows how to work with wires and such, along with weapons. His greatest is a sword.
Physical Appearance: He has raven's black hair. His skin is a creamy white, and he has pale blue, verging on white, eyes. He is not the most muscular, but he can lift quite well. He has a sharp angular complexion. Dallius is tall, and thin from lack of food, but he is still strong.
Personality: Dallius is very fierce. He has trained to be heartless, but only in certain situations. He is slightly, okay, maybe more, anti-social. His determination has helped him grow, so he is mature. Very mature.
Flaw: Cannot shoot at all. Not the strongest.
Pets: A wolf
Rich or Poor?: Middle
Weapon of Choice: Sword, daggers, can do nasty things with electronic stuff.
Talents: Swordplay, Throwing, Hunting
Preferred Angles (Innocent, Sexy, Mysterious.. etc..): Mysterious, Shy, Quiet.
Angles this tribute will not do (Max. 3): Outgoing, Leadership
Other: He is quiet, and believes the one who leads is the first to die. That has been represented in his life many times. He is a follower to others, and will be in the arena.

Quote :

Black hair. He has fiery red eyes. Tall and thin. Pale skin.

I don't really consider those sentences and I find that really choppy. That's the only thing I am really nit picking here. I'm not going to be too harsh.

One thing is I don't really allow red eyes, it's not natural and you wouldn't see it, he wouldn't even have contacts because that's the type of thing capitol people would have.

To fix that physical history though you could write..

Quote :

Dallius has black hair. He's tall and thin, with a pale skin tone. He has fiery red eyes. (Then perhaps add something else to make four sentences)

^ I know it's not that good but I didn't make it super good like I would have done for my own charrie because this simply isn't mine. I also helped it flow a bit more without controlling how your charrie looks like. Just fix that and I am okay with it.

Oh and on a side note what you put in the other section actually fits in the personality section ^_^

~Sorella

Does this work now?

That's fine now. Accepted.